Confessions of a Greedy Vegan!

I was a fat boy as a kid. By the grace of her highness, the goddess of the universe, I have gotten myself fit and healthy as an adult. But I am, and always will be a foodie. Hulk smash is a real phenomenon at every meal believe me you. One of my good friends even tells me I don’t eat, I inhale. Sometimes when I’m on the phone talking to my best friend Erica she bursts out and screams, “What the f**** is that!” and I simply reply, “It’s just me eating.” I’m a scrape the bottom of the bowl, fork every kernel type of guy, and I’m proud of it. However, as a result of my chronic fatassery, I have to be really careful about what I consume. Even as a Vegan.

I have found that most of the food at vegan restaurants is just as unhealthy as omnivore restaurants. The food is usually sugary, processed, fried, loaded with simple carbohydrates, empty calories, and soy, did I mention soy? Try eating a diet based solely on the ingredients you find at a vegan restaurant and see what happens to your waistline. It’s all an illusion. Don’t let the chic decor and five-star yelp reviews fool you. I recently had a friend ask, “Why are there so many fat vegans?” I had to explain that many vegans make the mistake that I made when I first started. I was eating vegan fast food nachos, pizza, tacos, sandwiches, “chick’n” salad, you name it. Don’t get me started on all of the vegan tortilla chips and processed soy-based meat substitutes I was eating. The crazy part is, my fat boy was never satisfied. Sure it would taste good, but my body knew I wasn’t receiving anything of nutritional value, and nutritional value is key.

It wasn’t until I really started thinking about the nutrients in the food I was eating, and not just is it vegan or not, that my body began taking a slimmer, more attractive shape, and my skin began healing faster. Now when I eat I think, “What micro and macronutrients am I receiving from this?” Is this vegan Philly cheesesteak giving me the b-12, antioxidants, and omega 3 I need, or is it just a bunch of empty calories and I might as well have eaten a bag of Dorritos? Food is medicine, and we often forget that. It is our first round of defense against disease, aging, and mental illness. When I eat food that is made of mostly raw veggies, or lightly cooked veggies, absent of all of the nasties you can think of like sugar and processed ingredients, not only do I feel more alive, but my food break down easily and I am able to get nose deep into that dish. When I make salad, it’s in a punch bowl! When I eat raw vegan wraps, I’m killing at least five! Hands


The point is, you can be just as greedy as I am and still healthy, as long as you cook for yourself and use lots of micro and macro nutrient dense ingredients. Is it less convenient? Yes! Is it labour intensive and time-consuming? Hell yes! I’ve chopped so many vegetables you can scale the Great Wall of Benin with them. And that’s 10 thousand miles by the way. But it’s all worth it in the end and your sexy new body and healthier skin will surely thank me later.

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